I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
