Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
Randomize
