awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
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