omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
I'm really busy with my period
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