:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
We talked him into tasing himself.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
