Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Randomize
