last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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