it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
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