In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
