Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
I could make wine with my vomit
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
