Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Randomize
