We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
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