i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Randomize
