Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Randomize
