I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
