i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
