Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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