Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Randomize
