Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize
