let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Randomize
