His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Randomize
