How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
