chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
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