I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
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