She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
This is classic penis vs brain.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize
