you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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