remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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