I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
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