Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
