i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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