apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Randomize
