i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Randomize
