this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Randomize
