I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
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