If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
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