Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
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