I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
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