sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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