let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Randomize
