I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
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