Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
