he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
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