Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
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