Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Randomize
