I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
