This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
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