i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
