As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
Randomize
