haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize
