I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Randomize