so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
Randomize
