So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
cat food counts as protein by the way
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Randomize
