How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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