oh god the rape fog is back!
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Randomize
