He is like the real live version of the state fair..
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Randomize
