The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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