so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Randomize