did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
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