idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
