You can't special order awesome
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Randomize
