Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
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