weddingsv make me drug and hornr
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
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