is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
