Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
You took a bar mat shot.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
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