I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
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