the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
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