Please, let me fuck your mom
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
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