Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Randomize
