You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Randomize
