There is no way he is gay with that hair.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
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