Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
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