I just cut my nipple shaving
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
